1. Acknowledge That You Are Not Alone
I once believed that I was alone. That I was the only one experiencing what I was experiencing and that no one could or wanted to help me but I was utterly wrong. There’s always someone out there with a similar history or struggle who can empathize with you and help you through your dark times. Most importantly, you can always lean on God when you are feeling lonesome and he will never leave or forsake you. You may feel alone, physically, but you are never alone. There’s a large community of supporters all over the world that you can find at your local community church or the internet that can help you in your trials. Some examples are YouTube and Meetup.com.
2. Wear Shoes That Actually Fit Your Feet
Seriously! One pair of extremely small shoes, I don’t care how cute they are or what sale you found that did not have your size, those little shoes will damage your feet for life. Unless you want to struggle the rest of your life trying to find toe rings, closed toe sandals and wart removers to reduce the appearance of your callouses, then don’t you dare girl! This applies to clothes as well.
3. Save Your Money
Young Adulthood is the best time to start planning your financial future. It’s the best time to start considering being more frugal so that you can one day own that house you promised you’ll buy your mother. There are many examples of why saving your money is very crucial and beneficial in the end but you get the point.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Dream Big
There’s nothing wrong with imagining yourself living in Saint Tropez, working remotely as the founder of an energy company. You can do it! It may seem unrealistic at first but with commitment it is doable. Just remember with God, all things are possible. Just make sure you’ve found your purpose and that it is aligned with his. The worst that can happen is that you live your life in fear and that you do not live out your life’s true purpose.
5. It’s Never Too late
Don’t we all approach this stage in our little quarter lives, where we feel as if we’ve reached our mid-twenties and nothing extraordinary has happened. Just know you’ll never truly get over this phase, even when the extraordinary happens. You’ll always be striving for something better. Try your best to always have gratitude and patience despite the feeling of stagnancy. Maybe you’re 25 and you’re struggling to finish your masters program or even get into one for that matter. Maybe you are still trying to figure out what you are passionate about or what makes you happy. It will come and it is never too late. The beauty of life is that there is no clear standard for where you are supposed to be at 25. Which also segways into…
6. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People Your Age
If you can’t handle watching other people rise to success whether it be in education or starting a family, just remove yourself from social media. However, it does not end there. You will constantly compare yourself to other women online and offline if you do not transform your mind. We have to bring our thoughts into submission in order to truly focus on the things that actually matter like actually doing the thing you have not done yet. Instead of putting your energy into wining about why you have not started your business yet when Maria is in her 3rd year, use that energy to get your lazy-self up and get that thing done. Truth is we all have to start somewhere. Listen, I’ve been there before and I had to use my own tough love advice.
7. Travel, Travel, Travel
Yes! If you can afford it, explore the world until your heart falls out. Travel solo and safely navigate your way through foreign cities. Learn new languages and meet new people with varying perspectives until you can say ” hallo waar is de dichtstbijzijnde bushalte ?” without hesitation. You won’t regret it!
8. Be Open To Trying New Things
I’m an adventurer at heart so I get bored very quickly with the mundane order that life can sometimes provide. I enjoy order and consistency but I do not enjoy complacency. I love trying new food or talking to people from other cultural backgrounds. I am so intrigued by learning about Non-American cultures. So I have no problem eating something that may not look particularly edible to me just as long as it is not meat. If you are open to trying things, I promise you’ll always have an interesting story to tell. For example, my openness has lead me to sign-up to run a marathon this year, enroll in a software development course and bike ride aside the Swiss alps.
9. Never Date a Guy That You are Unsure About
If you are uncertain about someone just don’t do it to yourself. Relationships require honesty and if that person refuses to be open about where you both stand then that is an obvious red flag. Never Settle. You are a woman of value. Especially if he isn’t a man of God. Flee! You may end up wasting time you could have spent preparing yourself for your husband.
10. Take Care of Your Body
Eat healthier and incorporate at least 30 minutes of exercise into your daily routine each day. Start small by doing something as simple as replacing your breakfast with a smoothie or lemon water. It’s also great for your brain. In addition, please make sure you have at least 7 hours of sleep each night. I promise you will have long term results.
11. Never Stop Learning
Read! It’s so important. It honestly should have been number one on this list. Our ability to absorb and break down information and apply it to our lives is in accordance to the way our brain processes information and this valuable tool is enhanced with reading. Truth is, we have to exercise our brains the same way we have to exercise our bodies. So you have your law degree and you’ve already obtained your license, that does not mean it’s time to settle. We should always be desiring to know more and improve ourselves. Knowledge can open so many doors.
12. Maintain Humility
Always be humble possessing gratitude at all times. Give in times of suffering. Give in times of peace. No one wants to work with a Debbie Downer or a self-consumed, confrontational person. Be empathetic, it will bring an enormous amount of peace to your environment. You will find that good team work skills are a very valuable asset across all areas of life. Just avoid drama and stay away from situations that can be potentially harmful in your life.
13. Develop a Creative Outlet or “Fear Project”
I first heard the term “fear project” from a TED Talk by Angela Ceberano who claims that creating a project that forces you outside of your comfort zone can help you relieve your fears and anxiety. She’s right. I’m sure you’ve all heard the cliche: whatever causes you fear, the best way to get over it is to just face it. Exposing myself on social media platforms like YouTube has always been one of my fears. Now I am finally facing that fear. There are many ways that blogging, vlogging, dancing, poetry, music and all other forms of art can be a really good creative outlet for you as well. It’s a great way to relieve stress and track our progress.
14. Build a Support System
Your family is your first support system. Make sure you choose at least one person that you can trust and confide in whether it is a friend or relative. And if you are grieving, do not isolate yourself and bottle your emotions. Embrace the support around you. One night with your girlfriends can really help in the healing process.
15. Do Not Be Afraid to Be You
If you want to flaunt your curly hair, do it! Do not hold back! Stop worrying about what a guy or society thinks, just remember to use a satin scarf on your hair at night to avoid frictional damage and invest in a stylist that will not potentially damage your hair. Be yourself at all times and stop worrying about criticism. If you suppress who you are, you will never grow.
Living with Grace 