What Are We Passionate About?

According to most millennials, our work, also known as ergasia in Greek is unfortunately not always aligned with our passion. Many of you can attest to the life investment we devote to a weekly 9 to 5 or better yet 60+ hour week. We strive to earn a living that is more meaningful only to realize, for most of us that it feels more “meaningless” than intended; it’s as if we are “chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 1:14). I often ponder of the true meaning of work. Being a person who has fell victim to the mundane “workaholic” lifestyle during many seasons in my life, I continue to seek meaningful work and to find motivation even on my most difficult days.

Nothing motivates me like God’s Word. I began to seek God’s perspective on this hence work is a significant factor in our design yet many of us aren’t passionate about it. Truth is, many of us are passionate about something even if we do not feel passionate about anything at all. We are passionate about comfort. Our inherent nature desires it. However, Jesus says “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”(Matthew 16:24). Therefore, we must deny our flesh and pursue His will despite our feelings.

“From the beginning, God intended human beings to be his junior partners in the work of bringing his creation to fulfillment. It is not in our nature to be satisfied with things as they are, to receive provision for our needs without working, to endure idleness for long, to toil in a system of uncreative regimentation, or to work in social isolation. To recap, we are created to work as sub-creators in relationship with other people and with God, depending on God’s provision to make our work fruitful and respecting the limits given in His Word and evident in his creation.” -Theology of Work

I don’t know about you but the thought of being “sub-creators” in God’s story convicts me. It convicts the lazy side of me that strives for comfort. The book of Proverbs refers to this type of individual who is resistant to working as a “Sluggard.”I’m sure you’ve heard the principle of reaping and sowing. For the sluggard, there is nothing to reap because it was never sown but yet the sluggard still searches for a reward. That’s comparative to looking for snow on the ground on a day when snow is forecasted, expecting your manager to inform you about the office being closed and expecting to be paid for the day. Yes, I know we’ve all done it at some point.

Escape to these places

I often times wonder if I need to be passionate about my work all the time. However, what I am learning is that I do not. In fact, work wasn’t designed for that benefit. Yes, it’s so fulfilling to be motivated by what you do and contribute purposeful, meaningful work. That’s a tremendous blessing but you’re not always going to enjoy it. God granted us free will so that we can choose to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, choose to worship Him in a fallen world, choose to have joy, peace, and contentment in menial or uncomfortable tasks. However we choose to feel, we are still commanded by Him to work. To be fruitful and to multiply whether we feel like it or not.

Escape to these places (2)

Remember, “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep it.” (Gen. 2:15). God gave Adam the pre-ordained task to till the land and maintain it and Adam honored the first instruction until God decided it is not good for man to be alone (Gen 2:18). Once sin entered the world, work was no longer a breeze. In Genesis 3:17, God says to Adam”Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. Therefore, sin caused our labor to become “painful toil.”

There are times when work will feel painful. When we won’t have the same desire to complete the tasks we were once so passionate about and that’s ok. Our feelings are completely normal. I’m made aware of this in my own industry. I do not always feel passionate about what I do and there are seasons when the work feels really challenging. Some days my brain feels really stretched and I’m reluctantly banging my head against a wall struggling to solve a problem. My code compiles with errors and the program crashes each time. That is when I recall how far God has brought me and His purpose for providing me with this job. I think about what probably lies ahead if I can only complete His assignment. How many people will get saved or the offspring who will be blessed by the fruit that comes from my labor. If I allow myself to be led by my emotions, I just might miss out which is especially difficult for me to accept when my ultimate desire is to be used by God. So don’t pursue comfort, pursue God’s will whether it feels good or not. He always has a good outcome.

God bless!

When The Unexpected Happens: Part 2

I remember when I felt prompted to go on my church’s Fall Retreat last year. I also remember not having budgeted enough money due to emergency circumstances but I was determined to encounter God. And that was the premise of the Fall Retreat, it was called Encounter. I knew that if I surrendered everything to God on this retreat, I will encounter Him and be sensitive to His voice. Surely, that’s what happened. In addition, I met so many wonderful people, established relationships and learned valuable lessons all in one weekend.

Now, after leaving the campsite and basking in His glory for 1-2 weeks after, I eventually transitioned back to the mundane, day to day life. Not expecting much yet trusting God to do exceedingly and abundantly. I noticed on the days I didn’t spend much time in His presence, I felt the weight of hopelessness; as if it was impossible for God to do a miracle in my life.

In November when I found out that my team at work will be relocating to an office in New Jersey I felt dismayed. Nonetheless feeling a strong nudging from the Holy Spirit to fast because my future felt uncertain. I don’t particularly enjoy patterns of complacency or non-stimulating tasks which is also why I felt the need to pray for uncertaintly in my career. I felt like there was more to be done and I wanted to serve wherever God wanted me to serve and be challenged as much as possible.

So I decided to start my 2019 financial breakthrough fast in December. Now around this time, I was in conversation with someone I met on the retreat in October. She insisted on meeting up with me. We kept planning our reunion but of course, there were some scheduled conflicts on both of our ends that caused our meetup to be delayed. During the fast, she texted me about a book she wanted to give me as a gift when she got back from Aruba.

We eventually met up on New Year’s day. We had a wonderful time of fellowship. It was amazing. Before we departed she gave me the book and a card. I thought it was extremely sweet and unexpected. I said thank you as she suggested that I open the envelope when I got home. So I followed her instruction and…I found $100 as soon as I opened the envelope. I wept immediately. I think what was so profound to me was the way in which God answers prayers. It’s always unexpected and always on time. His timing is perfect and I see how He blesses us when we least expect it so He can get all of the credit, the glory, the honor, and praise. Hence only He can use His people to carry out His blessings during a time of uncertainty and despair.

I truly did not deserve such a gift. I couldn’t understand why she was so kind to me. She and I only met once on the retreat and she didn’t know me or my situation. An outstanding display of  Christ’s character to show grace in such a way! It was such a remarkable way to start 2019. Moments like these are significant reminders of God’s provision in our lives. His praise will forever be on my lips and I will always be reminded of His divine providence. I pray my testimony blessed you and that you will continue to trust God during seasons of uncertainty in your lives. Only He has foresight. Only He knows the beginning and the end. So continue to seek His kingdom and His righteousness and do not worry about tomorrow.

God Bless!

When The Unexpected Happens: Part 1

A day after Christmas in 2017, I started my fast for financial breakthrough and healing for my family as planned. I went into this fast with an expectation perspective. I was expecting to encounter God in a special way but I was also facing a ton of uncertainty in my life which caused me to feel uncertain about His timing during the process. I thought I had prepared efficiently for this. I used my vacation hours at work, I planned to also fast from Facebook and limit communication with friends to emergency only. I’ve never felt more excited to spend time with God and see Him move in my life.

However, a few days before Christmas the unexpected happened. After church, I went to visit my aunt at her house as I usually do on Sundays especially because she lives so close to my church. I noticed something different about her. It was as if she was a different person. She seemed very unengaged in our conversation. Not thinking much of it and not worrying, I went home. The next day my sister calls me mentioning that she also noticed the changes and that we needed to take her to the ER. A bit of history, my aunt recently suffered from a hemorrhagic stroke in early 2017 so any changes in her behavior are expected to raise urgent concerns for us.

She was rushed to the ER on Christmas eve but sent home because she “appeared” to be fine and told that it’s best not to use unnecessary radiation like a CTscan (on a person with a history of stroke). The coming days were rough. Her symptoms seemed to be more apparent; From memory loss to apathy. She couldn’t remember the year we were in. I caught her saying that we were in the year 1981! That was very alarming to me and provoked my study of Alzheimer’s disease. I had to remind her to do almost everything and I felt really overwhelmed. Now, I’m not usually very open with my emotions in this way and I appear to be very emotionally strong but I wrestled with God on this because of how unexpected it was and the pain I felt. And I felt the push, even more, to pray for healing over my family in addition to financial breakthrough. I leaned a lot on prayers from friends and loved ones. For those of you who do not know, my mother also suffered from a stroke 6 years ago and is now paralyzed and struggles with speech. My father passed away 2 years later. So the closest relative to me is my aunt.

laurel and james

That week I fought tears as I prayed in God’s presence. I waited and rested in Him. I’ve reflected on His divine providence in my life and I knew that He wanted me to trust Him. During that fast, I noticed as He started to open doors for me in just 2 days. The second day I felt so much peace it was overwhelming. I also received random emails for opportunities I did not initially apply for. On January 2nd, my aunt had an appointment for an MRI and I was excited to have them finally take a look at her brain especially because of the concerns we had that ER physicians found hard to assess. I fell asleep in the waiting room expecting to wait for at least 2 hours. However, they woke me up within 30 minutes, “Vanessa, she’s done!” When I followed the technician to the area where my aunt was I asked “she’s finished already?!” she replied, “No, the doctor will explain it to you.” Now my heart beats are on one thousand per second. The doctor explained that she did indeed have a stroke and they were now rushing her to be recessed in the ER.

This stroke was different from her last one. It was smaller and affected her much less. Thanks to God! Also the timing in which we brought her in did not make a difference. she’s now in recovery and doing better. I no longer have the same fear I had the initial week of the symptoms but I’m so grateful to God for giving me that peace and for the recovery she’s made thus far. I’m glad we have more of an awareness of what happened to her and that she is God’s hands. I am also thankful to all of the friends that have extended prayer during this rough time.

A lesson I learned from this experience is that life will be full of unexpected occurrences and challenges. What’s most important is how we react to those events. Sometimes it may seem like God is not present during these times but He is. He is showing us something but we must pay attention and be sensitive to His voice. I noticed during these moments an urgency for prayer, a need to commune with Him. He is a good God and He uses these experiences for a specific purpose but in the end, it all works out for our good. I pray that during times of despair that the Lord is able to fill you with hope, wisdom and a peace that surpasses all understanding. Love you! God bless.

To be continued…

Dealing With Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a new and ambiguous concept of emotion we all face to some extent in our careers. In some cases it can be analogous to explaining why we dream; there are many scientific arguments for it but it’s still a mystery. I wanted to present a surface level approach to this concept on Living with Grace and reason some solutions to handling it hence my peers and I often have this feeling that we may be a fraud. I don’t know what season you’re in in your life right now but you may be feeling like a fraud in a position that God has called you into and it may be causing you some delays. That position is not limited to a career, it can be marriage, motherhood, fatherhood, positions of leadership in the body of Christ, evangelism, etc. I’m writing this to encourage you to remember your identity in Christ and why you were called to your specific purpose and to ultimately unmask the lie that you are not equipped for the position you were called to.

What is imposter syndrome?

According to The Scientific American “Impostor Syndrome is a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity, or fraudulence despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary.  It strikes smart, successful individuals.  It often rears its head after an especially notable accomplishment, like admission to a prestigious university, public acclaim, winning an award, or earning a promotion.” (What is Imposter Syndrome, 2015) 

The root of imposter syndrome is fear. It’s the fear that someone will notice that one is not equipped for the position. However, let’s shift that perspective and suggest that we are equipped because we were chosen for the role. If God is sovereign and we were offered the opportunity to work for the company we work for in the role that we’re in then that suggests that God permitted us to operate in that role. Therefore, He will equip us to successfully fulfill all the responsibilities of that role. However, we must be intentional about it. One thing I’ve learned is that the more I feel discouraged and I allow the “imposter” feeling to steal my identity, the less confident I am in God’s Word and the process in which He’s positioned me. It’s important to pray and speak life over your identity. Ask God to supply all your needs for the specific role, meditating on scripture such as Philippians 4:19. 

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Remembering Why You Were Called to This Specific Purpose

In a practical sense, we may not understand how our roles ultimately tie into God’s will for our lives and how they will bring Him glory. I learned that it’s less about the specific task at hand (also important because God created work before giving Adam and assignment – Gen. 2:15) rather more about the spiritual fruit that will develop by completing the assignment that is a part of the greater whole of God’s sovereign will for our lives.

The Lord gives us particular assignments to develop us over time and prepare us for the next season in our lives. His desire is that we fully develop the fruit of the Spirit which are “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control…” Galatians 5:22-23. Therefore,  it’s important to understand how we are being developed spiritually in the process. Walk into every opportunity with confidence always asking God “what am I supposed to learn here?”

You are not an imposter. There is a specific purpose for your life; nothing happens by chance. God qualified you for that promotion or else you wouldn’t be there. I pray that you have surrendered your life to Christ, you have acknowledged the value that comes from being a child of God and you are walking in His will. I work in the tech industry where imposter syndrome is prevalent among software developers and it feels inevitable even to the most seasoned engineers but I have the hope planted in me that the Lord has given me access to everything I need to accomplish all that is required for my role. However, that takes time and intentionality in overcoming fear when the thoughts that provoke it comes to mind. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7). It’s a struggle for us all but together we will get through it. Just remember we are not living this life for ourselves we are a part of a much larger story. So you are not alone on this journey, you’ll be surprised at how many people feel the way you feel, share it with someone. I pray that the Lord provides you with the confidence to overcome imposter syndrome, that He supplies all your needs to produce the fruit needed for the position you are called to and that you walk in faith in His Word, acknowledging that in His will you are capable because He is able! (Ephesians 3:20)

May God bless you!

Understanding Grace

About 3 years ago, around 7:30pm on a Friday, I was pulled over by a police officer for a traffic violation. I was prohibited from making a left turn at an intersection between 7pm and 9pm. I was aware of the indicated times but like some of us, I ignored the signs because I was in a rush to a destination. I was startled when the officer handed me a fine with the penalty of 2 points added to my license if I pleaded guilty. The interesting part was that there were others being pulled over for the same reason. This was the first time I saw officers strategically waiting by a traffic sign and watching for violators. However, I refused to plead guilty. I was determined to fight this just like any other ticket I received despite whether I was guilty or not.

So I fought it. I requested a court appearance. This was my first time doing this and I was very skeptical of the outcome. I was afraid of what my future would look like if I didn’t win this case. Would I be stuck with higher insurance for a few years? Would I be able to even switch my insurance company? Minor things that were huge to me. To my surprise, I was in for a treat. Distressed, I approached the judge. The judge then asks “what are you here for?” I revealed the type of traffic violation and before I can even defend my actions. He says “Not Guilty.” Just like that, he let me go and he did it with a smile and said: “enjoy the rest of your day.” The joy I felt was unbelievable. I was also perplexed. Why did he let me off the hook that easy? Forget the points, I didn’t even have to pay a fine which I was confident I’d have to do even if they let me go. I didn’t deserve to be set free and yet the judge deemed me innocent.

My experience is merely one of the many illustrations of God’s grace in my life. The ultimate, most basic display of God’s grace and love not just for me but for all of us is and will always be Jesus’ atonement for our sins. Jesus’ atonement lies at the foundation of every believer. It’s the reason why we think, worship and live the way we do. It’s also what inspired the title of this blog and my youtube channel two years ago. It’s also the meaning of my middle name, Charesse. I’ve arrived at the conclusion that we never fully understand the true meaning of grace until we are faced with the opportunity to give it to others. For example, many of us have a hard time forgiving people who have hurt us in our past. I’ve been faced with this several times in my life. I’ve been bullied throughout elementary school and I’ve felt the power of painful words expressed toward me in my adulthood. I’ve learned that by forgiving those who have hurt me and continuing to express kindness despite the way they’ve made me feel is easy when I can truly reflect on Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins. Of course, forgiveness is never easy but God wants to walk us through it. He wants to remind us daily of His grace upon our lives. We are part of a much larger story.

Ephesians 1_4-6

We are called to die to ourselves daily and submit our will to God’s. Jesus demonstrates this on the cross when He says “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42) Hence, He pleaded to God to take this cup (the death sentence being carried out) away from Him, if it was in His will. Always affirming God’s will throughout: “nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Just imagine the pain experienced, it must have been difficult denying His own will. Jesus certainly wasn’t a man led by His feelings. He carried out the will of God which was often very tough but bore so much glory. Because we know God works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called to His purpose it should be easier to make tough decisions after all they’re not as hard as what Jesus experienced. However, they’re still difficult. Important to note here that directly after Jesus cries out to God, to let His will be done, in verse 43, it says “An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened him.”God knows walking in His will may be difficult for us at times but He will strengthen you.

God has freely given us His grace at His son’s expense so that we can also have the power to deny our will and give grace to others. Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:14 says “The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.” Also in Luke 6:36, Jesus says “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” And He says in Matthew 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Until you’ve forgiven or shown compassion to someone who seemingly does not deserve it, you won’t be able to fully wrap your mind around the fullness of God’s grace and mercy bestowed on us. I know this from experience, I’ve spent countless nights crying after a graceful act that I realized God was using to paint a picture of His grace and show me how to deny my flesh and choose His will. I’ve been so blessed by these moments and I look forward to the many ways God will strengthen and use me. I pray He will do the same for you. His grace is immeasurable and incomparable to any amount of grace we’ve ever shown anyone. It’s far beyond anything we can understand. The more we are presented with the challenge of operating gracefully in circumstances that are difficult, the more we will comprehend His grace.

May God’s grace be with you!

A Man of An Unexpected Encounter

I often times think about the many ways God pursues us and it drives me to tears. He really is relentless in His pursuit and I feel so honored to have been adopted into His family. Whenever I think about how difficult this journey is, I think about how God pursued me, who I was before and how He has changed me, how His Word is always true and never fails. Walking by faith and not by sight can be incredibly difficult amidst all of the depravity and uncertainty today. Thus to have continuous faith and consistent integrity is truly valuable and reveals the glory of God.

Reading through Isaiah 55 and carefully meditating on God’s words and thinking about how important every detail is to Him, I felt as if I had a faith boost. The New International Version calls this chapter Invitation to The Thirsty whereas my NKJV bible deems it An Invitation to Abundant Life.  Whichever is most appropriate, this chapter is profound and abundantly meaningful. It is a reflection of God’s tender mercies and grace. Of course, this isn’t the only text in the scriptures that displays God’s character so beautifully but what stood out to me is when He says “So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it” (v. 11). What a delightful depiction of how God’s word never fails and always prospers. Amen? It’ll make sense why this stood out to me personally if you continue to read.

When I was about 20 years old I was approached by a homeless man in a McDonald’s by Yankee Stadium. My immediate assumption was that this man was going to ask me for money and I was prepared to flee the scene in a New York minute. However, something unexpected happened that changed my life forever. He began to prophesy. I was startled. Hence, I never imagined a homeless man would speak prophetically to me or anyone really. A man of an unexpected encounter. Most importantly, I was not a Christian at the time. My life was very different. Yet it was as if this man knew me and he came to do the will of God by sharing with me how much God loved me and how God called me for a specific purpose. Although I didn’t know God, at this time in my life I was searching for answers. What boggled me, even more, is when this man started mentioning how I was going to marry someone that is going to help me fulfill this mission of sharing the gospel and making disciples. There were several things that were difficult to process at the time:

  1. I’m going to surrender my life to Christ? What does that mean? I’m not “religious.”
  2.  I’m going to get married? Eeew (haha)
  3. I’m going to have a ministry with my husband? That sounds like a lot. How is that even possible?

So there were many things that were perplexing and frightening in all honesty. However, in retrospect, I see how that prophecy is unfolding. The homeless man finishes by saying, “I don’t want your money. What you will do for the kingdom is more valuable than your money.” God had been trying to reach me for many years prior to this (I’ll share more of my story in future posts) and for once this encounter really stood out to me. It was as if God was waving a flag in my face at this point in such an overt way while still manifesting Himself unexpectedly. It reminds me of how Jesus encounters His followers. He didn’t warn them He just approached them while they were pre-occupied and said: “follow me”. Isn’t it amazing how the creator of all things can be so loving that He persistently pursues us, mere human beings in the most subtle ways? Praise God! I spent days thinking about this encounter and processing through it after it happened.

A year later, I gave my life to Christ, unexpectedly. In my heart, I have this knowing that it’s what I’ve desired my entire life and that I’ve made the best decision I could ever make. God’s Word really never returns void. If God can open up the mouth of a donkey and speak through him (Numbers 22:21-39), He can use anyone, anything or any circumstance He wills to reach His children. Which means we have work to do. Jesus says “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” (Matthew 9:37). Let’s continue to seek God on how He wants to use us. Nonetheless, I thank God for using that man to prophesy over me. I thank God for that man’s boldness. If it wasn’t for the many ways the Holy Spirit has encountered me, I would not be the professing Christian I am today. Now I have an indelible story to share with anyone willing to listen.

In the event that my church is allowing us to share how we came to faith in our small groups, I cannot help to reflect on this very prominent moment in my life and I felt so moved by the Holy Spirit to share this with you all. Saints, in what ways have God pursued you?

God bless you and thanks for reading!

 

 

How God Saved Me From Joining a Christian Cult

I almost joined a cult, you guys. Well, this is quite embarrassing but I felt the nudging from the Lord to share this story. It’s one that contains a multitude of emotions ranging from scary, sad, humorous, gratitude and more but I’ll let you decide for yourself.

It all started a few years ago after entering a new season of spiritual growth in my life. I was still very new to Christ but I was searching for answers. I wanted to go deeper but I wasn’t quite sure how and what made it even more difficult, I was not a member of a local church. Yes, the perfect recipe for being attacked as a new believer. I had recently left my former church and was searching for a church home in my neighborhood. I’ve attended church every Sunday but what I was honestly looking for were friends. I already had dozens of friends who loved God but I wanted at least one really close one to accompany me on this new spiritual journey. Yea, I wasn’t very mature at the time.

So I prayed and I mean I cried out to God about this. Then one day while shopping at H&M, a really nice young woman approached me. She seemed to be around my age. She invited me to a coffee gathering and asked me if I was Christian. I told her that I was. I remember thinking wow this girl looks like me and she really loves God too, I want to check out her gathering. She mentioned that the gathering was not a church gathering just a time of fellowship and bible study for people of all diverse denominations or faith who love God. It sounded very enticing at the time. So I attended and immediately felt something that is difficult to explain. I remember it clearly after worship there was a Korean man who presented a short sermon and I don’t remember everything he said but I remembered the feeling I felt. You know when Paul says “They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.” Romans 2:15(NLT) Well, I didn’t know the scriptures very well at the time (which is why I was searching for bible studies) but I just knew everything he was professing was false teaching. It was as if the Holy Spirit was saying very clearly “that’s not true. Get out of here.” I felt the urge to leave immediately but I wanted to be polite to my new friend who seemed like the sweetest girl on the planet. So she starts asking me about my job and my schedule and eventually she introduces me to other people there who were trying to get me to complete an application with personal information. Thank God I didn’t complete the entire application but yikes!

Jude 1:12 (NIV)

12 These people are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm—shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted—twice dead.

Eventually, this woman, let’s call her Justina, began to reach out to me often to meet up and talk and even do a bible study. I was all for it because I love bible study and I started to like this girl who I thought I had so much in common with. Then she assigned me to what they call a private teacher who would meet with me 2-3 times weekly for a bible study and that’s where things started to get really weird. If I did well with this bible study and understood the teaching, they were going to enroll me in the main course which was a free 6-month Bible-intensive course that will help me to become a bible scholar. I felt hesitant but I was also curious. So I attended for about 2 weeks and I noticed many red flags. One major one was their emphasis on the book of revelation and perception of Jesus’ parables as “hidden keys.” They believed that we must fully understand the book of revelation in order to be saved. So I ejected but they kept pursuing me. I no longer cared to attend but oddly I was curious about investigating further. I began to raise questions like: Why was it that no one I met had a church home? and why is Justina always speaking of traveling to Korea? And why do they compromise on things the bible is clearly against? I often spoke to my brothers and sisters in Christ about it and every one of them advised me to stop meeting with these people. I even challenged the private instructor I had and I noticed a shift in her demeanor. That same day she asked if I could be re-assigned to another instructor. I guess the truth really hurts.

This is where I finally gave up: I got accepted into the technology program of my dreams. It was already hard enough to get into the program and I had already decided that I was going to devote myself to completing the program. Of course, they were not in support. They were relentless in getting me to join the 6-month course. There was a process in recruitment and I’ll never forget the recruiter who tried to get me to join says “you can’t share anything you learn with everyone because they may think you’re weird”. HUH??!! I immediately felt the Holy Spirit at this point stirring in me all types of emotions but ultimately a sense that this was very ungodly and anti-gospel hence the gospel is all about sharing the good news of Jesus Christ and making disciples. So I politely said that I will not be joining. Of course, they guilt-tripped me and said something along the lines of “if you truly loved the Lord you would make the sacrifice.” I remember walking away that day feeling so alone, confused and crying out to God, desiring to be closer to Him and to be protected from people like this but also begging Him to know the truth. I just wanted to know Him for myself. So I did that on my own.

1 John 4:4 (NKJV)

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

A year later I accidentally stumbled upon a Youtube video about a Korean Christian Cult called Shincheonji. I researched it and noticed how fast it was growing around the world and how it is disguised in many locations. It seemed almost completely identical to the one I almost joined. I fell to my knees and praised God for being with me and rescuing me from that. I sometimes imagine what my life would be like if God was not with me and I actually agreed with their teaching. Thank God for discernment. I believe God uses all experiences to bring us closer to Him and to help others.

These people still roam the streets today in efforts to recruit people who are searching for answers. My heart is burdened for those already brain-washed by this. Please be careful brethren. I encourage you to know the Lord and His voice for yourself. I pray that you will be hidden in the word and keep your mind guarded against deception so that when you are approached your discernment will be sharp.

Thank you so much for reading and may God bless you and protect you always!